Fathers Thoughts…
Of course I was as proud as a soon to be young father could be. Instantly I fell in love with my wife all over again. Just as quickly I felt an even stronger bond with God, thanking him for this blessing. But let's not get away from this fear thing before we move on. Whether it's a normal reaction or not, I was eaten up with it. Flashes of do's and don'ts started racing through my mind, simultaneously with the above mentioned questions.
Suddenly one statement kept replaying itself over and over in my head. I had heard this spoken by real people in real life, plus on countless movies and television shows, "I turned around and they were grown ".
Was it possible, I wondered? Could the minutes, days, weeks and years take off at such a blur that one-day I would turn around and my son or daughter would be an adult? I made up my mind that I would not let this happen.
No, I don't mean trying to keep him or her from growing up, but instead letting the years pass me by without telling my child how I feel about them and what I believe is important to take with them in life. Right then, at that moment I made the decision that whether I was to be a good father or a terrible father, I would at least make it clear to my child that I love him or her enough for two people.
Now are these thoughts, worries, concerns and fears, normal? I haven't the slightest idea, only that it hit me all at once and if its not then it wouldn't be the first time in my life I had been accused of being different from the norm.
I came to the conclusion, that one way to avoid missing time with my child by getting caught up in work or the daily routines was to write myself a set of cliff notes or cheat sheets for the things I want to make sure my child knows and learns. Hence, in the following pages I have done just that. Nothing elaborate or scientifically proven, just a list of things I want to make sure that over the next few years, my child knows to be true.
Is it just for my child that I write these things? No. As I said, these are little reminders for me to look back on at different times over the next few years and make sure I have expressed. Is this a normal reaction by a normal soon to be father? Probably not but then I've never been considered normal and can blame that on being left-handed, but that's a whole other story.